The Main Purpose For Our Trip To KK

L-R: Kung-Kung, Po-Po, Mummy, Grandma, Little You, Cousin Shannon and Aunty Otta at Kung-Kung's shophouse in Papar, Kota Kinabalu.

We were in KK for a week from the 13th-20th September 2007. Mummy wanted you to meet your great grandparents. Kung-Kung is pretty weak so he didn't get the chance to carry you but he did give you the gentlest kiss. Po-Po managed to have you in her arms for a while. She could not help but sniff you over and over (coz you smell so yummy).

Scare No. 3: COLIC

Monday, 15th October 2007 night you gave mummy a huge scare! Daddy and I went browsing around for electrical items for our house and decided to bring you along. You seemed fine throughout, napped a little. When we got home, you were tired and cranky. We had some visitors but you were not in the mood to entertain. So mummy hugged and sang you to sleep. Not five minutes after putting you down, you woke up crying. I changed your diaper thinking maybe the wetness was causing you discomfort. Then mummy cradled you again but you wouldn't stop crying. In fact, you started wailing from the bottom of your lungs. Poor baby. I get a little worried. Mummy feels your forehead, its fine no fever. I take your clothes off and wipe you all over to get you nice and comfortable. This does not help. I get Kakak Mon to call daddy. He comes up and I pass you to him. He tries to calm you while mummy pats your bum. This doesn't help. Then I tell daddy to get the Yu Yee oil and rub it in his palms. He then presses his heated palms firmly on your belly. I give you your cucut. You are calm for a minute. By now mummy is pretty sure it is angin. Moments later, you are screaming again. How it hurts to see you suffer. Mummy is close to tears. I have it in my mind that if things don't improve we should go the the clinic. Daddy's thoughts are the same.

After a while we rush you downstairs. As I walk downstairs with you in my arms, you are instantly calm. We get in the car and you are quiet except for the little unavoidable sobbing after a wailing session. Before we reach the clinic, you are asleep. Your pediatrician is closed. So is your back-up pediatrician. It's a public holiday. We drive around a little longer. I tell daddy that we need not bring you to the doc. You tummy is settled and it would be silly to disturb you. We go home. Tired but relieved. Mummy cannot control her feelings and starts crying. I hold you for a long time before putting you down in your cot. You sleep like an angel. Every little movement you make from then on startles me. But deep down I know you are fine. You wake up for a feed 5 hours later and you are farting like a little baby machine gun. I smile till the sides of my mouth ache. I thank God for you.

I love you.

xxx

mummy

My Little Marshmellow

Have you seen anything more adorable? Marshmellow was given to you by your Aunty Yolanda. Those are grandma's strong arms that are holding you up.

14th October 2007

At 6:20pm on this day you flipped over all by yourself for the very first time. You have been flipping over many times but always with someone's help. You mastered the whole turning over thing but never had enough strength left to pull your arm out from under you. You developed this technique of slowly twisting your body around moving it away from your arm and eventually freeing it. This is a very long and tiring process and you have since given up on it. On Sunday you flipped over as usual (real professional) and suddenly you pulled your arm out from under you. Just like that! Mummy was so proud. I wish I had the camera. I clapped and smiled. You cooed and gurgled, looked up at me and smiled. Ah, melt my heart. You are very good at suporting your upper body weight using your elbows. It loks tiring but you seem to enjoy it because you stay with your head up this way for quite some time. Maybe you feel a sense of accomplishment. Or maybe you just like the view from that angle. Sometimes you push you butt up in the air, it almost looks like you are ready to crawl. In no time you will be. How fast you grow and develop.

I love you.

xxx

mummy

On friends

Hi there sweet pea,

Mummy got this made-my-day sms from your Aunty Sel on Friday:-

"Friends are a treasure. There are friends that will come and go. Then there are others that can't seem to leave you alone. These are the ones you want to hold onto."

Mummy has been blessed with the best set of friends ever! Never underestimate the importance of your true friends, your friends forever. You will meet many people in your life time. Some will remain acquaintances, some you will get to know a bit better and then there will be those precious few who no matter where you go, what you do, no matter how much time passes or episodes you experience together, will be there with you no matter what - be it in body, mind or spirit. As in many relationships, there will be trying times that will test the strength of you bond but with friends forever, it will pass. And you will know that you will never be alone. Of course there's always God and mummy and even daddy but it's always good to have a Plan D.

mummy
xxx

The best that I can be

Mummy truly wishes she could breastfeed you.

There was some complications in the beginning. I think I introduced the bottle to you too early. This caused a little nipple confusion. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I don't know. I wish people were more encouraging. I felt like I was starving you. Never really knew if I had enough to give. You were hungry so soon after a feed. You couldn't latch on properly. Of course none of this is your fault. I did not provide you much to latch on to. You seemed so frustrated.

Now there is no supply and no demand (for my breast) neither. You are 100% on formula. It tears at my heart, thinking that I could not do this for you. I could not give you the one thing that only a mother can give. The one special thing that only the two of us can share. My privilege for my baby! I want that bond so much. I want you to need me and I want to be there for you. In that way that only I can. I cry inside when I am reminded that this is something I cna no longer do for you.

Mummy feels like she's lost that chance. I love you beyond words or expression. I love you unconditionally. You bring new meaning to the word love. To loving another. I want you to know that and remember it always.

Hey there Elil....

Oh it's what you do to meeee....
Oh it's what you do to me.
Oh it's what you do to meeee....
Oh it's what you do to me.
What you do to me.

Love,

mummy
xxx

The New Addition

Eli the Elephant. You like Eli's bright red color. You are fascinated with the colorful ball he carries and the purple and yellow hoops he has. Eli has big elephant ears and a long red trunk.

This is the quilt that grandma made. It's beautiful isn't it? Grandma misses you terribly and loves you so so much.

The Weekend

We had a big celebration for you this Saturday. All your tata's/pati's friends were there. Daddy's friends too. Not forgetting cousin Shannon, aunty Otta and uncle Allen. You got so many gifts; too bad you are too tiny to get all excited over them. Don't worry mummy was excited for you. It was a nice evening although you were passed around from one aunty/uncle to another aunty/uncle so many times. I'm sure that must have been tiring. But you were the star of the night so I guess it was expected. You knocked out only at 12.30am. As usual at night mummy will lay you down on your side snuggled in between your two tiny bolsters.

Cool eh?

So cute you looked (eee geram, gigittt!). That night mummy lay down on the rug by your bed. I was didnt want to lie down in my own bed for fear the squeeking noises the mattress makes might wake you up. What a surprise I had minutes later when I got up to check on you. You were sleeping soundly on your belly! You tiarap yourself! Mummy is so proud of you. I am sure it took a lot of energy and effort to turn your little 7 week old self over.

This was taken yesterday - lunch in SS2. Daddy carrying Shannon. Shannon carrying Elil

Why the frown sweetheart?

Everyday...

Everyday...

...you give me more reasons to love you.
...I love you more.
...you teach me more about yourself.
...I want to hug you more, squeeze you harder, kiss you all the time, smell you all over (except the diaper area when you have pooped).

...I sing to you. Talk to you.
...I can't tell you enough that I love you.
...I don't look forward to going back to work.
...I cannot imagine my life without you.

...I thank God for you. Pray for you.

...you grow a little. Your chin just gets a little heavier, the folds on your thighs a little deeper, your chest a little wider, your feet a little longer.

...you try your best to communicate with mummy. Through your wide eyes, or your flapping hands and kicking feet, through the little sounds you let out.

...it gets a little harder to carry the whole 4.2kg of you. I still do. Still love to.

...you don't know the joy you bring me.

...you remind me more and more of an angel.

love

mummy

xxx